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Several dozen residents are in the large living room, some slowly move around on their own, others use walkers to help with their balance, several walk with the aid of a cane. Many sit in large comfortable chairs and some in wheelchairs. A few have a noticeable tremor in their hands, and some are softly talking to themselves or to no one in particular. Many sit quietly with their eyes closed, perhaps sleeping, while a few gaze off without focusing on anything. Some interact with the staff, some do not. At one end of the room there is a bingo game in progress. Some of the players can find the numbers on their cards by themselves, but most need assistance. Along one wall is shelving filled with books, another wall features a large aquarium containing an assortment of brightly colored fish, and in one corner of the room is a flat screen TV tuned to a soap opera. Several ladies are watching it intently.

The people in this room represent a cross section of humanity. The men and women are different races and nationalities, and their ages span six decades. They come from many religious faiths and all types of economic backgrounds. They are of every political persuasion, and there is a wide variety of education levels. They filled their lives with an assortment of careers and jobs, and in the course of the human experience they have known great joy and sorrow. Several of the individuals were born with Down syndrome and other forms of developmental disabilities. Most are spouses, mothers, fathers and grandparents.

But who are they really? What is the story of their lives?

The oldest man in the room is wearing pajamas as he slumps in his wheelchair. Every so often a staff person repositions him so that he is comfortable. In WW II this now frail gentleman was an engineer who bravely stormed Omaha Beach at Normandy. Although seriously wounded he continued to detonate obstructions so that armor could come ashore. He is no less a hero today than he was in 1944.

A woman who raised three sons and two daughters alone after her physically abusive husband died from alcoholism compulsively plays with her hair as she slowly sways to music that only she hears. The painful memories of her difficult life are forever behind her, as her days are now spent receiving the love and attention of her children who do everything possible to make the time she has left worth living.

In the corner there is a woman who faces the wall and no longer interacts with others. Although she came from simple means she worked hard and put herself through medical school. In her role as a physician she frequently helped families cope with devastatingly difficult end of life choices for their loved ones. Her family now faces those same heartbreaking decisions in regard to her life.

Sitting in a leather recliner is an oddly distinguished looking man who desperately wants to converse with whoever comes near him. Early in his life he started his own business that eventually employed hundreds, but although he was a compassionate and generous boss, those that worked for him have forgotten him in his time of need. He has not had a visitor in months.

An African American woman wearing a colorful scarf supports herself with a broad-based cane as she stands and looks at a portrait of Robert Kennedy. She recognizes the face of a man she once admired, but she cannot recall his name. In the 1960’s this mother of two courageously took part in the Civil Rights movement, but she is now once again considered a second class citizen by some because of her diagnosis.

Over by the bookshelves a large muscular man sits and nervously rocks back and forth. He is rarely able to relax and his tension causes him great anxiety. He immigrated to this country four decades ago with little money and no formal education. With nothing more than determination and willpower he spent years working back breaking jobs to seek a better life for the family he no longer recognizes.

One of the women staring intently at the TV is wearing a skirt with a beautiful flower pattern and a matching blouse. Her hair is neatly fixed. Before her diagnosis she enjoyed a long prestigious career as a research scientist. During that time she published several important papers, but she can no longer dress herself in the mornings. However, it is still extremely important to her to look her best.

A man in a red bathrobe stands at the back of the room watching the bingo game. He supports himself with a walker because he has limited use of his right arm and leg. For many years he held state political office, and he vigorously used his power to deny funding to assist his vulnerable constituents as they aged. His voting record led to the financial ruin of countless families who could not afford the care he now receives.

A tiny woman with Down syndrome sits quietly at a desk coloring in a book with markers. She pays no attention to others in the room, but she has animated conversations with imaginary characters that make her smile and laugh. She was employed for over two decades at a sheltered workshop, and although her vocational skills inevitably deteriorated she is still loved by her friends and the staff who miss her greatly.

A man with a full gray beard continuously rolls back and forth in his wheelchair. Because he is uncomfortable making eye contact he rarely looks up from the floor. He was a fighter pilot who spent five years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam desperately hoping that he had not been forgotten by those at home. But now he is a prisoner of his own memory loss which has caused him to forget his brave service to his country.  

Sitting in the sunlight streaming through a window is a petite woman wearing a large pair of glasses. Despite the painful arthritis in her hands she slowly crumples up a newspaper in her lap. This person was an elementary teacher who spent 35 years introducing children to the joy and adventure of reading, but now she becomes extremely frustrated as she struggles to make sense of printed words.

A grandmother of five sits in her favorite spot next to an ornate end table with a decorative lamp. She is the picture of contentment, and she appears to be at peace with herself and her surroundings. She nods and smiles at each person passing by as she spends her time lovingly chatting with her husband of fifty-eight years, even though he passed away more than a decade ago.

A man sleeps on the end of a couch. His face is weather beaten and his skin is leathery. He was homeless and found wandering in the downtown area two years ago. After several weeks it was discovered that he was actually quite wealthy having made his money in the stock market, but mental illness had taken its toll. He has no memory of his previous life and after having been severely beaten while living on the streets he now cowers in fear when someone approaches.

Studying a large bulletin board, a man with tears in his eyes struggles to say out loud the words he sees describing upcoming activities at the facility, but he is not successful. This individual was a loving father who devoted his life to his son who has autism and is nonverbal, but now they share that characteristic because he can longer speak himself. Tomorrow he will try again with the same result.

Because he is physically intimidating, the largest man in the room is carefully avoided by the others. 30 years ago he graduated from a renowned university which he attended on an athletic scholarship. Unfortunately he suffered multiple concussions during his four year football career which has left him with significant mental deterioration that now causes him to lash out with aggressive behavior at the staff.

Sitting at a table with two other people is a woman who continually uses her left hand to try and stop the pronounced trembling of her right hand. It is a repetitive action that she is unaware of. This person was an entrepreneur who gained wide attention as a chef which allowed her to open her own restaurant to great critical acclaim. Her uncontrolled trembling now requires others to cut up her food at mealtime.

Looking intently at the large aquarium is a short balding man who was forced to retire as a pastor when his growing confusion made it difficult to interact with his congregation. At first his family refused to accept his diagnosis, but now they are resigned to it. This gentle and kind man spent his adult life ministering to others and praying for healing for those who were in need, but now he is the person that others pray for.

A man continuously taps his fingers on a small plastic tray. The compulsive behavior seems to offer him a form of comfort from the frustration he feels at needing assistance to perform even the most routine tasks. This individual was a uniformed police officer risking his life daily to protect the public, but now he requires constant protection from everyday dangers such as stoves, bath water and stairs.

In the very middle of the room is a woman in her late forties sitting quietly in her electric wheelchair. She was born with a developmental disability and cerebral palsy. At the urging of doctors, her parents reluctantly placed her in an institution. She spent forty-five years living there until she was finally moved to a group home only to have the onset of dementia rob her of the independence she had always dreamed of.

Sitting near the door is a woman who positions herself each day so she can see down the corridor and catch the first glimpse of a special person. She was a loving wife and homemaker for more than five decades who is visited every day of the year by her devoted husband who still cherishes her. Although she can no longer recall his name she feels compelled to hold his hand tightly during each visit.

Moving slowly around the room in her housecoat and slippers is a woman who never married and has no family. But through the kindness of strangers she has been adopted by a class at a local elementary school who makes sure that she receives cards, letters, handmade gifts and frequent visits to let her know that someone cares. The children who provide this attention benefit as much from their efforts as she does.

Every man and woman in this room has a personal story. They are not just a diagnosis locked away for their own protection. They are human beings with a past but also a present. For the most part these individuals were just like you and me. They are loved ones, friends, coworkers and neighbors. They are the type of people we interact with every day of our lives. For many of us this will also become our fate. We will either be residents in a facility like this one or we will be visiting someone we care about who lives there. And although it is important to understand who these people were before the onset of their disease, it is a terrible mistake to think of them only in the past tense. Their lives matter just as much now, at this moment, as they did before their cognitive impairment began. What they did or did not accomplish previously in life has absolutely no bearing on the fact that they deserve to be accepted for who they are today.

Because the cruelty of dementia can be crushing, we must provide the most comprehensive care and support possible for those who are living with it, as well as their families. The individuals who spend their days in facilities like this one are among the most vulnerable people in our society, and how we treat them defines us. Our response to their needs is a reflection of what kind of human beings we really are. When someone reaches the stage where they require 24 hour care and supervision we must have the moral integrity to provide it, and we must have the compassion to make that level of care available to whoever needs it. To do otherwise is unacceptable. We must embrace our responsibility to make every person’s life with dementia as meaningful and comfortable as possible and we must ensure that they are treated with the same dignity and respect that they received before their diagnosis. They deserve no less.

Dementia proves that the purest form of unconditional love is when it is given to someone who can no longer return it.  

Imagine not being able to say a single word. Or consider that your speech is labored and difficult for others to understand, therefore conversations move too quickly for you to participate. This is the reality for many people with intellectual challenges. The fact that they are nonverbal or that their speech is not understandable adds a level of complexity to their lives that most of us will never experience. The frustration, confusion and even fear that results from not being comprehended by others can have profound consequences on their quality of life, their physical safety and their emotional well-being.

For those who are not able to express themselves in a way that is easily understood, it can be a lifelong challenge to be acknowledged and to be included. That is why it is critical to educate society so that people realize that just because someone has a developmental disability which makes it difficult for them to communicate verbally does not mean that they don’t have important things to share. Over the years, individuals have been marginalized because they could not express themselves with understandable speech, or they chose not to speak at all. This led to a tragic leap of logic which made listeners believe that these individuals did not have anything of value to say.

Right now you and I are communicating without verbal words being exchanged, and yet we are connected by a subject of interest in the hope that information can be transmitted from one person to another. If you have opinions on this topic you can respond by leaving a comment. At that point we will have shared our thoughts with each other even though we may be on different continents. No speech will have been involved and yet, hopefully, we will have each had a mutually satisfying exchange of ideas that are useful. This is just one example of the power of communication when the two parties do not verbally speak to each other. 

Because all human beings share the overwhelming desire to be understood, we are driven to communicate throughout our lives. It is one of the early milestones for babies, and it’s one of the essential pillars that make up the foundation our social order is built on. It allows the free exchange of ideas and information between individuals and groups. That is why it is morally wrong to exclude individuals who have difficulty verbalizing their thoughts. Society has a responsibility to ensure that every person is able to communicate in a way that is appropriate for them. Whatever it takes to allow a person to express their wants and needs must be made available to them. We cannot deny anyone their right to be understood.

We can just look at the dramatic rise of facebook, twitter and blogs and it is obvious that our desire to connect with others is a dominate part of our lives. However, it is the spoken word that most of us use to convey our hopes, dreams, pain and frustration. When something happens in our lives, whether good or bad, we can’t wait to share it with everyone. Part of the great joy of having good news is being able to tell others about it, and when we have bad news we feel better when we talk to someone. Our deep need to explain and complain is an integral part of the human effort to bond with others.

Because every person has the right to communicate and to be understood, it is morally wrong to dismiss another human being simply because they cannot talk clearly and effortlessly. A person whose speech is halting deserves to have our attention. They have the right to speak without being interrupted or having someone try to finish their sentence. We must show respect for their efforts to engage us. The right to communicate freely absolutely extends to those who happen to have challenges expressing themselves verbally. We cannot let their thoughts and ideas go unappreciated simply because we refuse to make the effort to understand them. There are many creative ways for a person to converse, and we have to be willing to make those opportunities and services available to those who might not be heard without them.

When a person with a developmental disability attempts to tell us what they want or need, we have a responsibility to do everything in our power to fully comprehend them. It is up to each of us to do what is necessary to allow successful interaction between all people no matter what their circumstances might be. When someone’s speech is difficult to understand, attentive listening is a sign of respect. When someone is nonverbal we honor their dignity by communicating in a way that is comfortable for them. Under no circumstances can we be dismissive of someone because it requires a little extra time and patience on our part to connect with them.

People who have challenges with their speech can be extremely imaginative and bursting with creativity. They have so much to offer that we must make sure that they have every opportunity to express themselves fully. When we protect the right of every member of society to share their thoughts, ideas and opinions we all benefit from those contributions. No matter what method of communication is used to exchange information between people, the beauty of diversity enhances everyone’s lives because what truly matters in our world can be expressed without words. After all, a person who is nonverbal does not actually have to say, “I love you”, to be able to convey such a personal and heartfelt emotion. We just have to be willing to let them tell us in their own way.

The experience of life is to be shared with others. That is why not having your communication understood can create the worst kind of loneliness and isolation.

Every human being deserves to be included in the conversation of life.

The life of a person with a developmental disability is filled with challenges that most members of society will never be forced to deal with. Things we take for granted such as inclusion and acceptance are rights that they are often forced to struggle for. While most of us have the automatic expectation that we will be treated fairly and justly, individuals with intellectual challenges sometimes face a different reality.

Every person deserves to be treated the same, but that doesn’t always occur. A lack of thoughtfulness and consideration for those who might have difficulty speaking up for themselves can lead us to discount their wants, needs and desires. When we look past someone with a developmental disability, without acknowledging them as a person, we are showing disrespect. When we do not provide complete inclusion so that they can participate fully in society we are denying them the dignity they deserve.

Unfortunately, if people with intellectual challenges are not respected there is the chance they will lose respect for themselves. After all, if others think they are unworthy than they might start to believe it as well. Even though these judgments have no basis in truth they can lead to a loss of personal dignity if the individual is convinced by other people that their life is not as worthwhile because they have a particular issue. That is why it is crucial to treat every person with the respect they deserve.

But sadly, people with developmental disabilities are still sometimes denied their dignity by uncaring or insensitive people. That type of behavior simply cannot be tolerated. When someone, for whatever reason, is unable to speak up for themselves or to defend themselves we must intercede to make certain they are treated exactly the way we would want to be treated. To stand by and not take action makes us part of the problem. Indifference is just as wrong as the disrespect shown by one person for another.

It becomes readily apparent how important it is to preserve the dignity of everyone when we realize that at some point in our lives each of us is going to become vulnerable. It could occur for any number of reasons, but no matter what the cause we will expect to be treated with respect because we believe that is our right in a free society. Therefore we cannot ignore individuals with developmental disabilities who are presently vulnerable because they have difficulty expressing themselves or because they are not able to fully understand their right to equal treatment. The fact that person cannot ask for, or demand, dignity and respect does not mean they don’t deserve them, and it certainly does not give us the right to deny them.

We have a responsibility to ensure that dignity and respect are never based on personal wealth or privilege. They must not be contingent on power or prestige. They cannot be the result of personality or popularity. They are deserved simply for being a human being. And because the experience of life is shared equally, there can be no distinction in the importance of people who do not have intellectual challenges and those who do. A person deserves respect no matter what stage of life they are in or what is happening to them at any particular moment. That is why it is critical that people are allowed to maintain their dignity whether they occasionally need assistance or if they are completely dependent on others for support or care.

Please take a moment and think about the people you respect. Chances are they are the kind of individuals who accept everyone as equals. In a sense they are respected because that is how they treat others. By the same token, those who are disrespectful to people are unlikely to be well respected themselves. They are denied the very thing they deny to fellow human beings. Having dignity and respect is a two way street. It is difficult to get them if you refuse to give them, and since they go hand in hand it is almost impossible to have one without the other.

Because people with developmental disabilities are equal members of society, they too deserve complete respect and personal dignity. Every person has the right to live their life the best way they can. No matter what challenges an individual might face, we show them respect by allowing them to make as many decisions as they can, and by letting them have as much control over their own lives as possible. We honor their dignity by providing them with opportunity and the resources to be successful. There can be absolutely no exceptions to these fundamental rights.

When we treat a person with an intellectual challenge with dignity and respect, we are acknowledging their worth as a human being. We are letting them know they are valued and that we care about them. We make it clear that their efforts and contributions are appreciated and important. We step away from judgment and instead accept that person for who they are. This not only benefits them personally it also improves humanity as a whole. It increases tolerance and compassion. It promotes understanding which allows us to look past perceived differences and helps us to realize that we are all the same.

Every person has a profound need for dignity and respect. They are necessary requirements to a fulfilling life. Without them society cannot flourish because, as a people, we cannot sustain progress if some are left behind.

Autism is often misunderstood by the public. Because it takes many forms and has a wide range of characteristics, its effects can be subtle or startling. When it’s diagnosed, entire families are changed forever. Communication and social interaction can be affected in varying degrees. It is rapidly on the rise, and there is still much about it that remains unresolved. However, one thing about autism is absolutely certain; the people who live with it are completely equal members of the human family.

There is a staggering amount of material written about the possible causes and treatments. Countless articles and papers focus on the behaviors and other issues that are sometimes present. Much of this information is useful, some of it less so. But as we navigate the massive volumes of research about such a diverse topic we must always remain aware of the fact that we are talking about flesh and blood human beings with the same needs as anyone else. Individuals living with autism are not just statistics. They are not just a diagnosis. They are loved ones, friends and co-workers.

You only have to spend a short amount of time on social media to realize that this subject elicits strong opinions regarding treatment choices and possible causes. There is sometimes great division among individuals who have autism, their families and those who work in this field. These conflicts often result from the fact that everyone has their own individual experiences which makes each person’s point of view valid for them. Since autism is not the same for everyone, it is critical that we treat each person as a completely unique human being with their own personality, likes, dislikes, challenges and abilities. To compare one person against another is unfair to both.

But there are still those who are quick to make broad generalizations. When they hear the word autism they jump to conclusions and make unfounded assumptions about a person.

Too often the ones we care about are described as “different”. In many cases it is used in a negative context. For some people it is code for “not normal” or “less than”. They witness a child engaged in repetitive body movements or they encounter a person who is nonverbal, and they immediately pass judgment without knowing a thing about them. Many mothers and fathers have had a child with autism display a particular behavior in public only to be condemned for their parenting by observers who had no frame of reference for what was causing the child to act that way.

Because it can be an invisible disability, autism is often met with such intolerance. Behaviors that can be associated with it are frequently not understood and at first glance are presumed to be bad or dangerous. When a person with autism becomes upset or frustrated in public there is little thought or consideration given to what could actually be causing their discomfort. People rush to judgment without attempting to understand the situation. This kind of reaction only adds stress to someone who is already coping with issues that others are not aware of.

While autism is a fact of life, it is how we respond to those who live with it that determines, to at least some degree, whether their experiences will be positive or negative. It is crucial that we are supportive and accepting. We must be interactive, but we must also give them space to process the world in a way that is logical to them. We must avoid the tendency to try and convince people with autism that they should meet our expectations. It is incorrect to assume that we have all the answers. Too often we mistakenly believe that they will somehow be improved if they will only follow our instructions.

Although it is necessary to assist individuals so that they can function within society in a way that works for them, we must take great care not to fall into the trap of pushing them to fit in. After all, each of us wants to be accepted exactly as we are. We don’t want to be considered broken or in need of some kind of repair. Our task is to provide programs and supports that allow each person with autism to develop the talents, skills and abilities that they already possess and to provide them with the opportunity to learn new ones. In this way we practice acceptance today while offering hope for tomorrow. If we will only stop and take a moment to appreciate the person behind the diagnosis we will realize that within the complicated world of autism resides the quiet beauty of the human spirit.

That is why we must not allow autism to be used as an excuse to ignore, disrespect or neglect someone. People on the spectrum have the same rights and freedoms as any other member of society. And if for some reason individuals with autism have difficulty understanding their rights than we must speak up on their behalf. We must be willing to advocate so that their voice is heard, no matter what their circumstances might be. For those who are nonverbal or have challenges with their speech we must reach out and find ways to communicate that allows them to make a connection with the world on their terms. A person’s lack of social interaction should never create the automatic assumption that they cannot learn. It is wrong to make snap judgments based on opinions and not facts. Just because someone cannot currently perform a task does not mean they can’t learn to do it in the future. Accepting the diversity that autism represents allows us to embrace inclusion for everyone no matter what their current abilities might be.

Because people with ASD can experience sensory sensitivity to sights, sounds and touch, it requires great courage on their part to try and connect with a world that overstimulates their senses and at times seems irrational to them. How would we react if we were constantly being pushed to behave in a way that did not seem natural to us? How would we respond if we found ourselves in a society that we did not understand? How isolated would we feel if we could not find a way that was comfortable for us to interact with others? People with autism courageously attempt to live so that their reality makes sense to them. Therefore we have a responsibility to try and understand their world and to respond in positive ways. That includes accurate diagnosis, early treatment and providing the resources necessary for families to adjust to their situation and move forward with their lives. It means practicing inclusion in all areas of society and making sure that people are treated as equals at all times. We must remember that autism affects the human brain, but it has no effect on a person’s humanity. Neurological function plays no part in determining the worth of an individual or the value of a life.

In other words, how someone perceives the world should not affect how the world perceives them.

Certainly there are situations where people with autism are vulnerable and dependent on others for their care and welfare. In such cases our compassion must be proactive. Every effort must be made to allow them to have a life that provides stimulation and activity. We must help them remain engaged in every way that is safe for them. They cannot be pushed aside and forgotten because they do not wish to have contact with those around them. We cannot neglect them just because they are reluctant to verbally interact with others. They cannot be marginalized because they are uncomfortable in social settings. It is important for us and them that we embrace their humanity because although a person with autism may wish to avoid physical touch they can still touch your heart.

Unfortunately, there is an alarming increase in the rate of ASD that clearly demonstrates the need for a corresponding increase in funding for research on treatments. It also means we must increase the programs and supports that we offer to individuals and their families. It means we must increase educational awareness so that all citizens understand the dynamics and effects of neurological conditions. But most importantly it means that, as a society, we must increase inclusion and acceptance while avoiding judgment and intolerance. We cannot ignore another person just because it requires extra effort on our part to interact with them.

But for all the facts, figures, statistics and research regarding autism it ultimately comes down to how we treat each other. It is the very human story of the people who live with it and those who love and support them.

A diagnosis of autism affects every member of a family as they make sacrifices and adjust their own personal needs to ensure that their loved one has the opportunity to live their life to the fullest. The parent of a child with autism learns to take life one day at a time while treasuring the small quiet moments that others take for granted. They realize the importance of every victory, and they rejoice at each milestone no matter how delayed. They willingly assume responsibilities that others will never be aware of, and they face a lifetime of challenges with courage. They are a doctor, psychologist, advocate, playmate, friend and the person their child loves most.

When a mother holds her son or daughter with autism, the future can seem frightening. The pressures she faces can include everything from financial stress to lack of educational choices to a shortage of employment options when her child reaches adulthood. She can be overwhelmed. The lack of understanding she experiences from others can be infuriating. She can feel alone and isolated from other parents whose children are progressing while her child struggles. She gets conflicting advice about treatments, supports and programs or perhaps no help is offered at all. Almost every aspect of her life revolves around the needs of her child. Her every waking moment is touched in some small way by the fact that she is the mother of a child with autism.

However, all the problems, frustrations and setbacks are made bearable because of the complete and total unconditional love she has for her child. It is a love that will sustain them in their darkest hours and that will allow her to face every difficulty with wisdom and resolve. It is a love that will burst with joy over her child’s accomplishments in the face of challenges and obstacles. It is a love so profound that it will triumph over the ignorance, intolerance and cruelty of others. It is a love that will act as a bridge from the past to the present and into the future. It is a love that will bring peace when there is chaos and comfort when there is despair. It is a love that will define giving and selflessness, and it will express the deepest compassion possible for another human being. It is a love that will allow her to commit her entire being to the good of her child. It is a love that will grow ever stronger with time and will never weaken no matter what life may bring. It is a love that will bind their lives together forever. It is a love that will be eternal.

We owe that mother and her child nothing less than our best efforts to ensure that their lives are filled with hope, opportunity and equality.

At this time we cannot control the incidence of autism, but we have complete control over whether those with autism are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

The loss we feel when a person dies is difficult to put into words. We are not only overwhelmed by the grief of losing them in the present, we must also contend with the heartbreaking knowledge that we face the future without them. It is the greatest pain we are forced to endure as human beings. And although we all know death is a natural part of the circle of life, accepting that fact does little to ease our suffering when we lose someone important to us.

Over the last several years we have lost two beloved members of the Meadows family. Both individuals had been employees for a considerable length of time. Over the years we had not only gotten to know them as coworkers but as friends. Each was respected by the staff and their peers, and each made their contributions to the success of our organization. But far more importantly we got to know them as human beings. They were people that we cared about and who, in return, cared about us. They were not just valued because of their job skills or their productivity or their work ethic - they were valued because of who they were.

Both of our friends epitomized why the Meadows is a place of opportunity and hope. They each had abilities they could contribute in a vocational setting once they were given the chance. They each took pride in being employed, and they loved coming to work. They each made many friends, and they each helped to make the work day an uplifting experience. Having a job was important in their lives. It didn’t just create activity to occupy them; it provided mental stimulation as they constantly learned new skills and accepted new challenges. It kept them moving physically so they could remain healthy as long as possible. And, most significantly, it gave them a sense of achievement and accomplishment.

We were fortunate to share many years together. The sound of their laughter balanced the daily challenges, and their personal successes overshadowed the ever present health concerns. Physical issues were dealt with through compassion and adaptability, and the reward of friendship triumphed over difficulties in communication. We miss their generosity, their thoughtfulness and their ability to make us feel good on a bad day. We miss their raucous enthusiasm and their quiet contemplation. Year after year our two friends showed up for work and asked for nothing more than the opportunity to be treated as equals. Their desire to be accepted and their willingness to accept others is an example we can all learn from.

When a person who has lived with the challenges of a development disability dies, it is a stirring reminder of what it really means to be human. Their loss created a void that can never be filled because they were each unique with their own personality and character that we loved and enjoyed. Their passing has changed our organization forever because the daily interaction we had counted on with each one of them is now lost. The fun and humor that was shared is gone, and the joy of spending our days working side by side with them has come to an end. But we can at least be thankful for the memories we have of those who were so important to us. We can reflect on how much our lives were blessed and enriched by their presence.

Although they each had many accomplishments at the Meadows, perhaps their greatest achievement was the fact that they made us better people. They helped us to accept others for who they are, which made us kinder, gentler and more compassionate. When confronted with their innocence we lost our cynicism and skepticism. Because we were entrusted with their welfare and safety, their needs became our needs, and we admired the way they lived with dignity which earned them the respect they deserved. As we supported them, they lifted us up with their spirit and their joy.  We learned from each other because even as we taught them vocational skills, they taught us something far more important - they taught us how to live. Through their lives they showed us what really matters. It’s not how many possessions we have or the size of our bank account. It’s not about having power or privilege, and it’s not about popularity or prestige.

Our friends showed us that what is truly important in life is how we treat each other.

The lessons they taught us will survive along with our treasured memories of them. They have given us a gift that will always be with us. Their legacies are present each morning when we open our doors. They help us to remember exactly why we are in business and what we are really trying to accomplish. Because although the Meadows provides a service to our customers, our real purpose as an organization is to provide positive change in the lives of individuals just like our friends. But it is impossible to work with incredible people like the ones we’ve lost and not be changed ourselves.

Reality is the same for all of us. As we go through the years, struggling to do the best we can, we have good times and bad - successes and failures - sickness and health. We stumble through our days trying to find real meaning until we thankfully come to the realization that it is the people in our lives that make life worth living. Those that we care about, and who care about us, are what matter. It’s the people we take the journey of life with that make our existence meaningful - and that point is driven home to us when we are forced to go on without them.

Sometimes death is sudden and shocking, while other times a person slowly fades away giving us the chance to say goodbye. In either case the sense of loss is severe and the pain is real. Deep down we all know the end can come at any moment. That is why we should never take the people who are important in our lives for granted. Spending time with them gives us opportunities to create the memories that we will one day cherish. In the case of both of our coworkers, we will never stop missing them, and they will always be a part of the Meadows family.

At the end of a human life we can ask one simple question: is the world a better place because that person lived?

In the case of our two beautiful friends the answer is a most heartfelt yes.

How do you measure courage? That question can be answered by the individuals who joyfully participate in Special Olympics.

On the athletic field, as in life, people with intellectual challenges perform at the highest level they are capable of. That is the same measure of success we all aim for, and because they make that effort we respect their achievements. Of course every human being is unique with particular strengths and skills. That is why when a person participates in Special Olympics they not only have the opportunity to demonstrate their abilities they also have the chance to take on new challenges that will enable them to increase their self-confidence as they improve their physical health and overall wellbeing.

By breaking through personal barriers they develop courage, confidence and self-esteem. This can help them realize that they are capable of doing even more than they thought, and that is what being a Special Olympics athlete is all about. Although achievement is a worthy goal, the most important thing is to make the effort. To be brave enough to “try” is more than most people can claim. Too many of us hide in our comfort zones and refuse to push ourselves; however, those who participate in Special Olympics take on new endeavors and reach for new goals. For them it is not only the exhilaration of competition but also the sense of fulfillment that sweeps over them as they make new friends and interact with their peers. It means developing a sense of belonging and camaraderie. It means enjoying the entire experience no matter what the athletic results may be.

Of course the most rewarding aspect of Special Olympics is that each individual is valued for who they are. There are no judgments based on what they can or cannot do. There are no unfair expectations so there is no pressure. There are no restrictions imposed. There is only acceptance. Each athlete is treated as an equal human being, without regard to any specific challenges they may face. They are given the dignity and respect they deserve, and they are appreciated as a person.

Special Olympics encourages ideals that can be used in all areas of life. It teaches the importance of perseverance, the joy of participation and the rewards of interacting with others. It allows individuals to not only test their physical strength and endurance but also to push themselves emotionally and intellectually as they attempt to perform to the best of their abilities. It allows them to experience the satisfaction and pride that results from giving their best effort. The sense of accomplishment that they rightfully feel when they are awarded their medals makes them feel valued and respected.

Unfortunately, society sometimes has a tendency to focus solely on the things the athletes struggle with. We are all familiar with the labels and categorizations that are used in an attempt to define our friends and loved ones. We are aware of the unfeeling designations and descriptions that are attached to flesh and blood human beings. We have all experienced the frustration of being told by someone that a person with a developmental disability cannot do this or that before they have even been allowed to attempt it. Special Olympics can play an important role in taking the focus off of the negative and placing it on the positive. For both the athlete and their family it can be an enriching experience that opens up new perspectives on what is possible. New skills are learned and new confidence is gained. A competitor can come away from an event and feel good about themselves.

There is so much negativity in life – so much to be concerned about – so much that is troubling – that it is a pleasure for all of those involved with this amazing organization to spend their time and energy in activities where everyone wins. There are very few areas of life where each and every person finds complete acceptance and inclusion. This athletic competition stands out as a beacon to those who simply want to be treated as equals. It provides them with a platform to put forth their greatest effort, and it shows the world that they have the same hopes, dreams and desires as everyone else.

But by far the greatest thing about Special Olympics is the fact that it is so much fun! Athletes get to spend time with their old friends even as they make new ones. They are focused and fully engaged as they do their very best in their events. The volunteers who work with them and support them add joy and enthusiasm to the experience. The self-confidence and sense of accomplishment each competitor feels is thrilling and exciting. Everyone involved has a terrific time and discovers new things about themselves and others. The whole world benefits from all the positive outcomes that are generated by this wonderful organization. Lessons that we all need to learn are on display during each event. All we have to do is open our hearts and our minds to realize that those who compete for the sheer joy of it are showing us the purity and beauty of the human spirit.

Special Olympics is the perfect combination of courage, commitment and compassion. 

We all admire courage. Bravery is considered one of the finest qualities an individual can possess. That is why we honor those who demonstrate courage with medals and awards. We put them on a pedestal and look up to them. We emulate them and wonder if we could have the same level of fearlessness that they display. Our society makes heroes out of those who exhibit this important quality. We are drawn to it, and we seek it out from the everyday experience. Being courageous is an honorable thing.

Of course there are many kinds of courage. Sometimes it is expected from certain people because of their line of work. Police officers, fire fighters, those in the military and medical personnel are often called upon to take heroic actions. It is what they do, and our society would be far less safe without their selfless contributions. We have come to admire courage in athletes. We watch with awe as an individual fights through a painful injury and keeps playing. We admire those who are willing to take risks we would never even consider. Whether it is driving a car 200 mph or hurtling down a snow packed mountain, we are captivated by those who risk their bodies and their lives in an effort to do what seems impossible.

Because it comes in many forms, courage can be spectacular or silent. It can be viewed by the entire world or it can happen completely out of sight. It can be displayed by one person or an entire nation. In the past there have been brave citizens who have stood up for causes that truly changed society in a meaningful way. Individual acts of courage can often be the catalyst to a movement that improves the lives of millions. These people have demonstrated one of the most important and rarest forms of courage, and that is the courage to care. Caring requires effort and sacrifice. It forces us to take action. It does not allow us to be lazy, selfish or apathetic. It demands that we stop fixating on our petty problems and acknowledge the needs of others. We often have to step away from the crowd and be willing to be in the minority. It requires us to be our best.

That is the kind of courage shown by individuals with intellectual challenges and their families.

Put yourself in this person’s place.

53 years ago your son was born with a developmental disability. Doctors said your baby would be a burden to you for the rest of your life, and they urged you to place your son in an institution to spare you the expense, pain and humiliation of having what the medical profession referred to as a less than “perfect” child in your family. You refused.

Because of his disability, your son endured a long series of painful and life threatening medical procedures as he was growing up. You lived with the constant fear of losing him, but you knew you had no choice but to go through with the surgeries so that he could have the highest quality of life possible.

Your child struggled in school and quickly became a target for cruel bullying that threatened to destroy his self-esteem. The teachers and administration seemed powerless to stop it, but you refused to let your son be a victim because of the ignorance of others, so you became his advocate and stood up for his right to be treated as an equal human being.

Your son finished school and suddenly faced a 70% unemployment rate for individuals with developmental disabilities. Employers would not even consider hiring him for fear that their customers would not feel comfortable around him or that it would be cost prohibitive to make adaptions in the work environment to accommodate him. But your son refused to give up his dream of having a job and together you searched until you found an employer who accepted him for who he was. Your child was hired, and his life immediately changed for the better.

That is the courage of real life. In this example, difficult decisions had to be made and in each case the person did what they believed was right no matter what others thought.

Unfortunately, it is easy to miss the courageous efforts that people with intellectual challenges and their families display every day. Their willingness to make sacrifices, their ability to harness the strength of the human spirit to conquer their fears and their persistence in searching for true acceptance are all powerful forms of courage. For people with developmental disabilities, courage means facing a society that sometimes judges you because you look or sound different. It means attempting to live a full and rewarding life, the way you choose, even though there are those around you who can be insensitive or intolerant. For people with intellectual challenges, things that others might take for granted can require great courage.

The following are just a few of the ways that courage is displayed by men and women with developmental disabilities every day.

Listening to people tell you what you will never be able to do, and believing they are wrong is an act of courage.

Having the willingness to forgive those, who through their ignorance, refuse to accept you as an equal is an act of courage.

Refusing to focus on the things you can’t do, and instead concentrating on what you can accomplish is an act of courage.

Standing up for yourself when no one else will is an act of courage.

Facing each day with a positive attitude even though you live with serious medical conditions that anyone would find discouraging is an act of courage.

Refusing to judge others because you personally know how painful judgment can be is an act of courage.

Attempting new challenges that test you physically and mentally, and not being afraid to fail, is an act of courage.

Treating others with the respect and dignity you know they deserve, even if it is not returned, is an act of courage.

Having faith in the basic goodness of human beings and trusting that they will someday accept you as a person instead of reducing you to a diagnosis is an act of courage.

Accepting who you are and knowing that the world is a better place because you are a part of it is an act of courage.

Obviously courage is something we all need from time to time, but for people with intellectual challenges and their families it is a daily fact of life. To endure decades of tests, evaluations, plans, programs and medical procedures is not easy. They are forced to live with situations and conditions that most of us will never encounter. We only have to pay attention and be aware of their efforts and sacrifices to see that their lives are an unending series of courageous acts. Instead of judging them for what they cannot do, we should appreciate their perseverance and determination to live their lives to the fullest under what are often incredibly difficult circumstances.

The next time you witness an act of courage, stop and think about those who have to brave every day of their lives because they have no choice.

Would you or I have the courage to face the challenges endured by people with developmental disabilities?

We have reached the time of year when we pause and take a moment to give thanks for the abundance that we each enjoy in our lives. For most of us, the blessings far outweigh the problems - but it’s still easy to fall into the habit of focusing on the wrong things. A human life is so brief that it’s a shame to spend it complaining about what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we do have. During this busy holiday season, we should each take a little time to consider the people and things in our lives that we are thankful for. We should try to resist getting so caught up in the rush of our daily lives that we miss the beauty that exists all around us and fills our days with happiness.

When difficulties and challenges seem overwhelming, taking time to give thanks for what is good in our lives allows us to maintain the proper perspective. Giving genuine thanks helps us refocus on the positive and it makes it easier to let go of the petty, trivial matters that can be aggravating and distracting. It allows us to see the big picture in life, and it helps us concentrate on what is actually important. It enables us to appreciate all that we have, particularly the people who mean so much in our lives and who we sometimes take for granted.

So at this time it seems appropriate for us to reflect on how fortunate we are to be part of the Meadows family. We can start at the very beginning by being thankful that caring individuals had the desire and wisdom to start this organization and that it has now flourished for three decades. As we look ahead to the New Year we are blessed with the opportunity to continue our success and to expand our capabilities to serve the employment needs of men and women with intellectual challenges.

We can also be thankful that we live at a time in history when society is finally beginning to understand and accept the value of every person. Education and vocational opportunities are improving and the shift to independent living within the community has helped create better lives for people, who in the past, were often ignored and forgotten. Although we still have far to go in our efforts to ensure that people with developmental disabilities are treated as equals, we are certainly on the right path.

I am personally thankful that, as Program Coordinator, I have the pleasure of working with the families of the individuals we employ. My admiration and respect for all of them continues to grow. As parents, they have faced challenges that I have not experienced, but through my relationships with them, I see the unconditional love that has allowed them to overcome the obstacles that can result from having a son or daughter with an intellectual challenge. I’m thankful that the families of our employees trust the Meadows to keep their loved ones safe, and I appreciate the fact that I get to spend each day involved in a cause I believe in. Not everyone is so fortunate.

We can all be thankful for the management of the Meadows that continues to develop our business interests and for our customers around the state who allow us to provide the highest quality service possible and who compassionately support our mission. And we should be thankful for our staff that, day in and day out, demonstrate their dedication and commitment in doing everything possible to help our workers reach their full vocational potential which will allow our organization to move in a positive direction in the coming years.

But sadly we cannot look at the future of the Meadows without remembering the past. Over the last several years we have lost two individuals who were important in all of our lives. We miss their laughter, their happiness and their energy, but most of all we miss their friendship. We are all better people for having been blessed with the opportunity to work side by side with them. Their passing has been heartbreakingly painful and difficult to accept, but we are thankful that we at least had the chance to get to know them, appreciate them and to love them. They will always be part of the Meadows family, and we will never forget the joy they brought into our world.

But above all else, we are deeply thankful and grateful for the 44 individuals who come to work each day with enthusiasm and positive attitudes about what they can accomplish in their jobs. The men and women we have the honor of working with remind us of what is possible. They demonstrate the power of determination and perseverance. They are the embodiment of courage as they overcome what others refer to as “limitations”. They sincerely appreciate the opportunity to be employed and they value the relationships they enjoy with their coworkers. Each day they give their best effort, and it’s the amazing results they achieve that drives our success. They are a pleasure to work with, and we are fortunate to call them friends.

This year as you gather together with your loved ones to enjoy Thanksgiving, please take just a moment to be thankful for the Meadows and the wonderful people associated with it. We can all be proud that our organization stands as a shining example to the community of what individuals with developmental disabilities can accomplish when they are given the opportunity to excel. And while we will always hold dear those who have worked with us in the past, we can look forward to a future that is filled with untold possibility and hope, secure in the knowledge that our mission to bring positive change to the lives of adults with intellectual challenges will continue in the years ahead.

To everyone who is part of the Meadows family we wish you a safe and joyous holiday season - and we are truly thankful that you allow us to be a part of your lives.

No one wants to be alone. No one wants to be left out. No one wants to be ignored, and certainly no one wants to be discriminated against. We all have the desire to participate fully in society and to interact with others in a meaningful way. We all want to be treated as equals, and we all want to be treated with dignity as human beings. This is no less true for people with developmental disabilities.

For too many years these individuals were ignored, neglected and even abused through no fault of their own. This behavior occurred mostly out of ignorance; however, that is no excuse. To deny people their right to participate fully in their community is wrong, whatever the reason. Everyone, no matter what their disability may be, wants to contribute to this life. They want to have their thoughts and ideas understood. They want to be respected. They want to be included in activities and events that are important to them.

Inclusion of those who have intellectual challenges is not only personally satisfying for them it is an excellent opportunity for society to experience firsthand the pleasure of interacting with individuals that they may have had limited contact with in the past. It is an opportunity to knock down the barriers that have kept 3% of the population from being accepted as full-fledged members of society. Inclusion is important because every person must have the opportunity to learn, to grow and to be accepted.

Society must take the necessary steps to include people with developmental disabilities. Every effort should be made to allow an individual to participate in the activities of his or her choice. The community must be open to everyone with no restrictions. For those who hold political office it is their responsibility to pass laws that make accessibility equal for all citizens. For the courts it is incumbent upon them to enforce existing laws that enable those with disabilities to have equal access to everything the community has to offer. Potential employers have an obligation to provide individuals with developmental disabilities the opportunity to have a job. Educators have a responsibility to make adaptions to their curriculum and teaching methods so that those who have intellectual challenges are not left behind in the classroom.

In a sense, all of us can take an active role in assuring that every citizen, regardless of any issues they might face, has the appropriate level of interaction in the community that they desire.

Inclusion benefits everyone. For those who have been treated like second class citizens and worse, being included in the life of their community is enriching and rewarding in countless ways. It provides the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other people, including the chance to make new friends and to develop healthy relationships built on mutual respect. It increases the self-esteem of those who are finally accepted for who they are instead of being rejected because of insensitive labels. But they are not the only ones who benefit from inclusion. Society itself is improved immeasurably when it makes the effort to include all of it citizens as active participants in the community.

When we make the necessary commitment to involve everyone in all areas of daily life it makes us more thoughtful and considerate. We are kinder, gentler and more compassionate when we consider the needs of others instead of focusing exclusively on ourselves. We learn patience, tolerance and acceptance as we develop an appreciation for what is really important in life. As we help those who have intellectual challenges change their lives for the better, we are also transformed. Inclusion brings us together. It breaks down barriers while creating the opportunity for dialog between people who have far more in common than was previously thought.

Every person, in their own way, has something to contribute to our world. When they are denied the opportunity to make that contribution we all lose. But when we learn to practice inclusion we change the dynamics of our culture. We begin to reflect the inherit goodness that we are all capable of. That is why we must be willing to include those who have often struggled to find acceptance. We can no longer allow them to be ignored or forgotten.

It is morally wrong for someone to be purposely left behind because we find it inconvenient to invest the time and effort to ensure they are included in life.

The stated mission of The Meadows Center for Opportunity is to provide employment and vocational training to adults with developmental disabilities and intellectual challenges. But there is actually much more to our mission than that.

Each day we have the pleasure of welcoming a workforce that is comprised of men and women who routinely do what many say can’t be done. These individuals refuse to accept the opinions of those who claim that people with developmental disabilities cannot hold down complex and demanding jobs because that is exactly what they do, 5 days a week. In the process they continually learn new vocational skills, and they make maximum use of their natural abilities. They are completely unconcerned about the supposed “limitations” that others have tried to impose on them, and they go through their day performing their jobs at a level that would be the envy of any employer.

But hiring and supporting a workforce of people that have had difficulty getting jobs in the community is only part of our mission. We also have a serious responsibility to advocate and to educate on behalf of the men and women we serve. We believe we have a moral obligation to see that their rights are observed and that their physical, mental and emotional needs are being met. We try to make sure that their voices are heard by those in power and that they have the same opportunities in society as other citizens.

Because the people we employ can be vulnerable, we are accountable to them and their families for their welfare at all times. We are vigilant regarding their health needs, and we work closely with parents, guardians, case managers and the appropriate state agencies to ensure that our employees are protected from any type of improper treatment. We monitor their well being at all times, and we take any necessary steps to make adaptations that will make the work area safer for them.

In fact, adaptability is a quality we embrace every day. Whatever a person requires in order to be able to do their job effectively and comfortably, we provide. We are happy to accommodate the specific needs of each individual so that they can work efficiently with their particular capabilities. Whatever their physical requirements might be, we are able to create an environment that enables them to work along side a person who has a completely different set of requirements. Our goal is to assist each person individually so they can be as productive as possible while ensuring their comfort and safety.

Another important aspect of our mission is to create an atmosphere that is not just encouraging but that actively engages individuals in a consistent effort to help them gain self-confidence and build self-esteem. Many of our workers have spent a lifetime being told that they would never be employable and that it would be pointless to even try to learn job skills. We change that kind of negative thinking by providing opportunities for them to attempt new challenges and by giving them the time they need to successfully learn a task. Encouragement, praise and sincere appreciation are used to create a level of support where there is no pressure to learn within a certain time limit, and there is no sense of failure when attempts are unsuccessful. We allow each individual to develop at their own pace and to feel good about making the effort to improve.

As far as advocacy is concerned, this blog is an example of the online presence we have established in order to tell people about what we do and to inform the public about the incredible individuals we employ. The Meadows is also on twitter. Our advocacy efforts are aimed at increasing awareness about what people with intellectual challenges can accomplish when they are given the opportunities they deserve. We also want to be a positive voice for families who have made countless personal sacrifices as they pulled together to support their loved ones in their efforts to overcome daunting challenges that tested their strength and resolve.

Our mission also includes educating the public so they understand that people with developmental disabilities are not so different from them. We want them to realize that individuals with intellectual challenges have the same hopes and dreams in life. They want to be happy and healthy. They want to have a job and to feel successful. Their daily lives are also similar. They go to the same malls, movies and restaurants. They enjoy the same recreational activities. They belong to the same churches and other organizations. But, most importantly, they have the same rights as any member of society. Therefore, they deserve the same dignity and respect accorded to others. Our advocacy, on behalf of the men and women we work with, is a compassionate effort to break down the barriers that can prevent a person from leading the most fulfilling and rewarding life possible.

For three decades The Meadows has fulfilled its mission to provide employment to people who simply need the opportunity to prove they can contribute. This is a commitment we honor every day and that we look forward to continuing in the years ahead. Our experience has shown us that with the proper support, individuals with intellectual challenges can accomplish what was once considered impossible. Having faith in them as human beings and demonstrating our belief that they can learn a variety of vocational tasks is often the determining factor in helping them become successful at a job that will test them physically and mentally but that will give them a type of personal satisfaction they have never experienced.

In the simplest terms, our real mission is to believe in the men and women we hire, and because we do - they never let us down.